I discovered late in life that I had a sort of knack for taking young, inexperienced men to bed and over several weeks or months teach him how to make love versus just having sex. So far, in the course of my “teaching duties,” I’ve taken the virginity of six young men, all in their twenties to early thirties as well as a few others that weren’t virgins, but were lacking serious lovemaking skills. Regardless of their experience, however, I pretty much use the same techniques on any man that comes to me for sex education. And to answer the question that hasn’t been asked yet: Yes, my husband of thirty plus years not only knows of what I do but whole-heatedly approves as well.
How do I find these young and inexperienced men? Sometimes they are young men that I’ve known for years, suddenly grown up and home from college for the summer, or perhaps home on leave from the military. Still others can be young men that I just happen to meet in my daily life while shopping at the store, mall, or just a chance encounter.
Regardless of how I might meet one of these young men, once I’ve decided to take him underneath my wings, the first thing we do is talk.
And then we talk some more.
And after that we talk even more… about life… love… and of course sex.
And believe me, at this stage of the game it’s not a certainty that I will be taking him to bed. Many things can torpedo our budding relationship as teacher-student. One of them is religion. The last thing I want to do is to lead a young man into “sin.” Though I’m not a Christian, I’m a very spiritual person and understand the importance of faith in a person’s life. And though sex isn’t a sinful act in my view, it can be for some. Therefore, I don’t want to do anything that will jeopardize his faith or make him feel guilty afterwards.
This lesson was driven into me during my days when I traveled for work. At one hotel in San Francisco, I once met a rather dashing and handsome businessman that I ended up going to bed with (with my husband’s approval). The foreplay was wonderful and the actual sex was quite good. He was able to bring me to a climax twice, with the last time just before he had his own.
Unfortunately, almost from the moment he finished his mood changed drastically. The happy, go-lucky extrovert turned into a sullen, remorseful creature. It didn’t help matters when he suddenly burst into tears and begged God for forgiveness. I was so creeped out that I quickly got dressed and left. I certainly never wanted a repeat of that, so I’ve made it a rule to ensure that before I become intimate with any man that I make sure that he doesn’t have some sort of deeply held religious faith that would make him feel guilty afterwards.
Therefore, during my talks with these young and impressionable young men, I find out what they truly believe and how dear do they hold the tenants of their faith. If he gives me the proper answers and convinces me that he is willing to learn all about the birds and the bees, to include the practical aspects of lovemaking without freaking out, then it’s just a matter of when we do it.
On the day that I meet with one of my students of love, I never dress in anything provocative or too sexy. Instead, I usually will wear a basic outfit that might include a skirt, blouse, and flip-flops. And yes, I do wear my bra and panties underneath as well. I will have already taken a shower just before the young man’s arrival, so after greeting him at the door and talking for a bit in the living room, I will get him to take his own shower, as I dislike smelly men, especially under the arms and in the crouch area. Yuck!
While my young student is taking his shower, I will undress, put on something conservative in the way of intimate wear, and wait for him in bed. Normally, it’s a black knee-length silky nightdress. Nothing transparent or too revealing, I assure you. Yes, I might sport a bit more cleavage than I normally would, but nothing that one wouldn’t see at the beach. I suppose I do this because I don’t want to get the young man’s lust to boil over beyond control.
When my young man finally comes into the bedroom dressed in a bathrobe that I would have left for him, most have a moment of shyness that I find so cute and adorable. I love seeing a young man getting all bashful and red faced with me. It’s sweet and lovely to see that their innocence still intact. This is why my talks with them beforehand are so important because if I knew they were religious at heart then there would be no way I could go through in taking away their innocence. That’s not to say that men who are without religion are bad men; it’s just that I don’t want to be the one to destroy a man’s deeply held religious foundation. Let’s face it; premarital sex is a sin in most religious circles, especially with a married woman. Someone else can do that.
I will let them stand there for a moment before I put them out of their misery by patting the spot next to me in bed and tell him to join me. After climbing into bed with me, the teaching begins.
With the authority that only a middle-aged woman can do with a younger lover, I tell him exactly what is going to happen, what I expect from him, and that we are going to be having sex twice that afternoon. I recognize that as shy and bashful as they seem to be, young men in their twenties are usually boiling over with lust at any given moment. That doesn’t make for a good teaching environment; therefore, the solution is to let them have a quickie as soon as possible in order to burn off some of that lust. If he is a virgin, it also allows him to get rid of his virgin state quickly and give him a sense of accomplishment when we have sex a second time later that day he will be more receptive to being taught.
I also tell him that starting after the quickie he will be required to give me a post sex hug as a matter of course. When I tell him about the quickie, I also stress that this first and only time that he will be allowed to enter me without doing any real foreplay.
Once my little talk is over with and he understands what’s going to happen it’s time to begin.
What normally happens next is depends on how I read the young man and where we should start. With one I might begin by undoing his robe, and go from there. With another we might start out kissing, especially if I’m the first woman they’ve ever kissed (four out of the six virgins I’ve been with had never kissed a woman before). Still with another, we may just start out with getting to the main event. It just depends on each individual and how he reacts to my advances.
As I’m beyond childbearing age and STDs aren’t an issue with virgins, I don’t use condoms with them. I feel that for a man’s first time it should include the actual act of releasing his sperm into the woman at nature intended it to be. For the young men that have been sexually active, I make them get an STD test before we do anything so that we don’t have to use condoms. However, they must promise me that I will be the only woman they take to bed during their instructions with me. If it means having to scheduling a “teaching appointment” with them two, three, or four days a week, then I’m fine with that.
Whatever method I use to initiate things with the young man, I usually make it short so we can get on with the business of draining off losing his virginity, draining off his lust, or both. I will remove my nightdress (if he hadn’t already done so) and let him get a good look at me. When they’ve gotten their fill, I will reach for a bottle of lubricant that I would’ve put onto the nightstand beforehand, and place a liberal amount of lotion between my legs. I then put more lotion onto my hands and rub it into his penis myself. I do this because it not only stimulates him further but it also gives me a chance to inspect his genitals up close for anything suspicious or out of place (just in case as I’m cautious). With that taken care of, I ask him if he is ready, get onto my back, spread my legs, and tell him that he can mount me.
It takes a bit to get his body aligned with mine, especially if he is much taller than me. But once things are properly lined up and I’m comfortable I will reach down, take his very erect penis into my hand, guide him between my legs, and plant his penis head firmly into my entrance. I sometimes have to make a few final adjustments to get comfortable before giving him permission to enter me slowly.
Because there was a lack of real foreplay, it usually hurts when he is entering me. It’s made worse if the young man’s penis is thicker than normal. But the pain is only fleeting and it’s often mixed with a burst of pleasure that gives me a strange and unique sensation. I also enjoy looking into his face while he is entering me, especially if he is a virgin. It’s a great joy to see his facial expression while he’s penetrating me.
When he is inside of me all of the way, I just lay back and enjoy the feeling of having all that power and strength on top of me moving between my legs. If possible, I will look into his eyes, kiss him, and then just hold on tightly. Most are like bucking horses as they thrust wildly inside of me. It will be something we work on later, but for this first time it’s usually an absolute joy to just lay there and let this young bronco thrusting fast and hard inside of me.
Most tend to last less than a minute or so. One young man surprised me and gave me almost five minutes of steady, hard thrusting; I darn near orgasmed. A few moments longer and I would have. It turned out that he’s masturbated twice before coming to my home because he didn’t want to come too quickly.
But regardless of how long it takes, when my young man is ready to explode inside of me, I make it a point to look into his eyes as a way of sharing that very intimate moment when he sheds his virginity for all time and becomes a real man.
When he is done, it’s time for our hug. If left to their own devices, most men just want to roll over and go to sleep or get more normally just get up and dress. That’s why I insist that they learn right then and there that after any sexual encounter they are expected to hug the woman for at least fifteen minutes if not longer. As with any unnatural task, such as flossing your teeth, if you are made to do it for a few weeks it will turn into a life-long habit, and I want their future spouses to benefit and enjoy some wonderful lovemaking that includes a long after-sex hug.
I always make them hug me longer though, especially that first time because I’m waiting for them to reload for their second intimate encounter with me. Most young men in their twenties tend to take forty-five minutes to an hour later before they are ready to go again. As one gets older the reload time takes longer.
And when they are ready, we go at it again but this time it’s much slower and far more satisfying. Only a couple the young men that weren’t virgins have managed to get me to orgasm while inside of me during the second round. None of the virgins have been able to last long enough to get me even close. But as I’m not orgasmed centered, but rather enjoy having the man inside of me while in the missionary position, I’m usually very satisfied by the time they go home that first day.
After that, all that is needed is instruction and practice. One week might how to use condoms properly. In that session I will have him actually use different types of condoms throughout the afternoon, one after another, so he will know how they feel.
In another session, we will work on oral sex. Though I’m not big on giving oral to a man other than my husband, I will do it for the young man at least once so he will know what it’s like. And yes, if I do it I will swallow his semen when he comes into my mouth.
But at the heart of my teaching is just basic sex with lots of kissing, touching, fondling, sex, and of course the all-important after-sex-cuddle. For the sex, I try to show him various positions, but nothing too radical, as I don’t like to be bent in unnatural positons. The real goal is to have him learn self-control so that he doesn’t come too quickly and learn a few techniques that will allow him to delay his ejaculation.
At the very end, when all is said and done, we will have that one last session together where I put myself totally into his hands and allow him to make love to me. I consider him a total success if he can make me orgasm twice with just his penis moving inside of me, as well as giving me one heck of an after sex cuddle.
That’s my story of how I teach young man how to make love.
Photo Credit: Film: Parfait Amour. 1996. Director: Catherine Breillat