As a married women who often travel for my company several years ago, my husband would often encourage me to try to let myself be “picked up” by some handsome fellow business traveler at whatever hotel I was staying at. You would think that it would be an easy thing to just walk into the restaurant/bar area and have my choice of men.
However, it was harder than most realize because most of the quality of men who came up to me. Many turned out to be quite rude or vulgar for me. I’ the type that needs soft words and romantic gestures to even consider going back to your hotel room to “talk.” I also don’t like to be talked down to or treated disrespectful.
For example, I hate being called, “Baby, Honey, Love,” or anything that might be considered a term of endearment. That’s reserved for my husband and a few close friends, not some man I just met in the bar. And I certainly don’t want to be talked to like I’m a silly little girl impressed by your sophisticated ways.
Basically, talk to me like I’m a grown up, impress me with your skill at using words to seduce me. Believe me, that works more times than not.
Anyway, here are some of the rules I used during my business travel days:
- Don’t use vulgar words or terms with me.
- Don’t mention sex. Once the man knows that I’m here for business on behalf of a large company and not some bubble headed hooker, then Yes, I may very well want to share his bed that night but he’s going to have to talk me into it and not assume anything. And that’s part of the fun of being seduced in a hotel. Can the man do it and not blow it at the end?
- Don’t drink more than one drink. Better yet, don’t drink at all. Nothing is worse than a drunk trying to pick me up, and your chances are almost at zero percent.
- The same with smoking. In fact, smoking is often a deal breaker for me because I just don’t want to smell that smoke on his breath during sex.
- If I do agree to come to your room, don’t pounce on me the moment the door closes. Let’s talk and relax first. You can still blow it at this stage by being too aggressive.
- Don’t mention you are married to me or I will bolt. Today, I won’t take a married man to bed unless his wife gives her consent. However, at the time when I travelled for business, I had a sort of “don’t ask, don’t tell” sort of policy. I never asked if they were married, and I really didn’t want to know. That’s because I had one such man break down and cry afterwards because of his guilt. Another married man told me he’d sinned and he had no other option but to confess to his wife what he’d done. I was horrified at that prospect, as I certainly didn’t want to be responsible for breaking up a marriage. I was able to talk to him afterwards a bit and I think I got him to agree not to tell his wife but instead to promise himself he’d stay on the path of fidelity.
- STDs are a reality, so expect to put on a condom mister. And don’t even think of slipping it off when I’m distracted during intercourse. I will know and stop everything.
- When we are done, I sleep alone. You have to leave if we are in my room, or I will leave if I’m in yours. Actually sleeping with a man is generally reserved for my husband alone.
- If the sex was enjoyably, I might meet with you again the next night if I’m still here. But once I leave for home that’s it. I’m not going to contact you again.
- My husband will know all the dirty details of our encounter. No, he won’t use it to blackmail you or track you down and beat you up. He loves the fact that I’m intimate with other men and as part of our agreement with each other, I must tell him the details of any sexual encounter I have. And I assure you they will be detailed with every kiss, thrust, moan, and groan.
Though I don’t travel anymore for business, I do have the same basic rules for any intimate encounters I may have today.