Sex Education in the Oneida Community During the 1840s.


Miss Habersham’s School For Young Men Now Accepting Applications



Here’s a fascinating bit of history that I want to tell.

In the 1840s there was a religious commune called the Oneida Community.  It was in essence a free-love community where each member was married to each other in what was termed “complex marriages.”  This of course meant that the members could have sex with one another since they were all married.  There’s more to the story than that since the leader of the community was able to take advantage of the situation for his benefit, and the community eventually reverted back to traditional marriages (this was the 1840s).

But for a long while,  the ability to have sex with other partners with other members was an authorized practice within the community. However, there was one huge problem, which was evident with other families of the time period:  birth control.

Until the beginning of the 20th century, most married women gave birth about every two years.  It was not at all strange to have a family of ten children or more.  The simple reason was that most married couples didn’t use birth control.  After giving birth and nursing, the woman would become fertile again.  A year later another little “blessing” would be delivered by the stork.

What the Oneida Community did was quite unique and proved quite reliable int he long run as it kept the birth rate extremely low during the time that complex marriages were recognized.  The men were required to practice sexual continence (coitus reservatus), which meant they during intercourse they were not allowed to have a full orgasm or  release sperm.

In practice, the men were able to achieve a state of ecstasy in approaching orgasm, but not crossing the threshold.   As a result, the birth rate remained low and the woman were actually able to have enjoyable sex since the men were now getting their pleasure from actual intercourse and not the orgasm.  So, no quickies for the men anymore, which was the normal thing to do in most marriages.

Most men seem to have obeyed this stipulation because the birth rate for the group was very low.

So, how did one learn how to have sex without having an orgasm?    It’s certainly not something that is natural to most men, as most want to get their explosion of pleasure as quickly as possible.  The only way to learn sexual continence was to practice with an actual woman.  But in practicing, the young man is going to make mistakes and come inside her.  The solution was to use older women in the Oneida Community who are past their child bearing age to practice upon.  That way, while practicing if he should get too over eager and come inside her the only backlash he will feel is the back of her hand, rather than a baby in nine months.

It  also killed two birds with one stone, as the young men got to practice with real women, while the women, who were past their prime, were able to get some quality sex from young men.

Imagine being 17-year-old Johnny who has to go over to forty-five-year-old Miss Habersham’s home every Tuesday and Thursday and every other Saturday to practice sexual continence.  Remember though that this was the 1840s, and to be honest most women in their 40s and 50s were not anything comparable with today’s women of that same age.

And were not talking about the young man coming over for some quick sex.  They had to learn how to keep hard and not have an orgasm while having prolonged intercourse.  I could imagine the young Johnny being required to be inside Miss Habersham for at least thirty to forty minutes of  thrusting.  And if he failed and came inside her, it would mean extra practice for young Johnny.

So, poor Johnny, having failed with Miss Habersham by coming inside of her after only thirty minutes, is now required to spend the next three Saturday mornings with her practicing.  Oh the shame of it all as he does it over and over and over again until he gets it right.

Of course, while the young Johnny, with his muscular young body was on top of Miss Habersham thrusting away, the rules certainly didn’t forbid her from having an orgasm.

And we complain about sex education in our schools as being too graphic.


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